Anyone who knows me knows I love my husband and children with every fiber of my being. My husband is my very best friend. He’s the smartest person I know, and being that I can be a bit serious at times (he would say most of the time…), I’m so grateful that he is able to bring out my inner goofiness. My girls amaze me. They are incredibly bright little beings with so much spirit and a fearlessness that I envy. And they all make me laugh. every. single. day.
However, all my life I had the assumption that when I grew up I would feel completely fulfilled in my career, marriage and children. That’s how it’s supposed to be, right? And so when after marrying and starting a family at a young age, then achieving the career goals I set out to achieve by the time I turned 30 still left me feeling lost and sad, I was shocked and left feeling incredibly guilty. Did this mean I was a bad mother? A bad wife? A bad person?
What had changed since my early 20’s other than now having a family and a grown-up job? Well, what I’ve come to realize was that I wasn’t living a life of curiosity or creativity. I went through the motions of every day, surviving. Never taking the time to wonder, learn, or create. I was caught in a vicious cycle of consuming meaningless content and never creating anything of my own anymore. I didn’t draw anymore. I had stopped seeking knowledge. And while I kept striving in my career and to be a “good mom”, I wasn’t striving to improve myself. I had lost my way. I had lost my sense of self.
I have made it my mission to reclaim who I am. Yes, I am a mother. Yes, I am a wife. Those are wonderful parts of myself. But they aren’t ALL I am. What is life if you can’t be everything you are meant to be?
The shift started small… listening to uplifting, thought-provoking podcasts. Reading books on how to tap into and reclaim your creativity. Then re-engaging in my creativity in small ways. Mindfulness practices and meditation. This blog started out as a way to hold myself accountable. But it has evolved into a way to share what I’ve learned with other mothers out there who may have lost their way.
My commitment is this: To be kind and help others. To live authentically. To live passionately. To notice all of the details of life. And to teach my girls to do the same. If this speaks to you, I hope you’ll join me in this journey.
With Much Love & Kindness,